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Posts Tagged ‘Active listening’

Coaching is a term that is used for various kinds of services aimed at promoting personal development and providing support for making good career choices.Coaching as a service is easy to approach. It does not sound as threatening as counseling or therapy even though they are all based on problem-solving interaction between people and try to produce change in thought processes and life situations. In addition, when considering the form, general aims of interaction and factors determining efficacy of all these services, they come very close to each other.

Several studies have shown that the framework or theory behind coaching and also behind therapy is not the critical factor in achieving good results – good results meaning actual change in thoughts, feelings and behaviour. The critical factor is the relationship between the coach and the client: if the client feels that she can trust the coach, good results will be guaranteed.  How can this trust be created?  One basic issue that builds trust is the expertise and experience of the coach and that these aspects come forth naturally in interaction – the coach is able to signal her expertise to the client.

Trust can also be created actively by using special techniques in interaction. These techniques are taught in many therapy trainings and during basic practical studies in psychology and include active listening, reading “between the lines” and acting upon nonverbal messages as well as signaling understanding. Although the factors and techniques behind professionalism can be singled out and taught, the best measure of expertise in people-related services is personal experience of the service.

Through personal experience of being a client in coaching, I have discovered that a trustworthy coach is straightforward and honest (not too diplomatic) and has a genuine trust in that the wanted change can be achieved.  During the past year two coaches have truly made an impression.  They were both very experienced and had a lot of knowledge about psychology but in addition to this they were both also very good at finding and bringing forth the most important questions to be tackled. In fact, very seldom were specific answers given to these questions during the coaching sessions. What was more important was the process that had begun during the sessions that made it possible for answers to start appearing one by one.

Another specific skill that these coaches had that made them excellent professionals was that they could easily recognize and adapt to different moods or problem areas at hand. Excellent coaches adapt efficiently to differing needs of different customers and their individual situations. They must also take many roles during one coaching process. For example, usually in the beginning they need to be an understanding and listening  “mother “ in order to help people clarify their thoughts and get a better understanding of the challenge at hand. An essential part of coaching is also being “a career counselor” who is able to help the client in converting her thoughts into attainable goals and outline several paths leading to these goals. Knowing what to do is essential but we also need to act upon this knowledge and this is where the role of the “father” comes in and becomes realized in feedback about fruitful and not so fruitful actions.

There are many steps that the coach has to take in order to enable smooth and customer-oriented approach in the actual coaching situation. Some examples of skills needed in coaching are understanding the message of client, understanding what she does yet know in order to comprehend the big picture and being able to find relevant questions based on this information. In general, the coach has to understand what the client wants to achieve and why, even though it would be something very different from the coach’s values.  She must also be able to see the meaning, rational and positive aspects in the client’s thoughts even though they would be very different from her own.

From the viewpoint of the coach the most important skills to develop are metacognition and self-awareness. They permit identifying the emotions of others and stepping into different roles from which to meet the needs of the client. In work that highlights personality and interaction, the tool to develop is the self, and luckily in this area, there is always room for development and refinement.

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